PDA

View Full Version : W Ketchup: A Real American Ketchup


Francois Cellier
07-11-2004, 09:12 AM
http://web.morons.org/article.jsp?sectionid=10&id=5296

WTF???: W Ketchup: A Real American Ketchup?
Posted by astounded Falconrath on Jul. 10, 2004


Remember how the US made their cafeteria fries "Freedom Fries?" Remember how we all thought it stupid and that nobody could top that? Well, AFP would like to report that we were wrong. We now have the perfect addon to Freedom Fries, and that's W Ketchup (http://www.wketchup.com/)! All-Republican for your tastes, because as the website says, "You don't support Democrats, Why should your ketchup?"

For those not in the know, Democratic Candidate John Kerry is married to a wonderful woman named Teresa Heinz, the operative surname being Heinz, kinda like Heinz Ketchup, huh? That's right! Kerry's wife's got Catsup in her blood, and just because of that, here comes the Republicans with their ilky counterfeit. The excuse they give for the "W"? "The "W" stands for "Washington"." Sure it does. I assume they're talking about George Washington when they say that. Baloney. I think they're talking about a George alright, but that "W" sure don't stand for Washington. Get my drift?

All this is is a stupid political statement. IT'S THE SAME THING AS HEINZ PRETTY MUCH, and if you somehow thing that "Tomato Concentrate (Water and Tomato Paste), High Fructose Corn Syrup, Corn Syrup, Vinegar, Salt, Dehydrated Onion, Spice and Natural Flavoring..." are better then Heinz because it's "American," then you need to go back to grade school. Being Republican, it can't help but blast Kerry. "Choose Heinz and you're supporting Teresa and her husband's Gulfstream Jet, and liberal causes such as Kerry for President."

Francois Cellier
07-11-2004, 09:16 AM
It makes perfect economic sense. Heinz Ketchup enjoys such a penetration on the American supermarket shelves that no other company would find it easy to gain market shares ... unless they came up with a plot other than taste or price that would convince customers to switch to their new product.

They just did ...

goddesscon
07-11-2004, 05:48 PM
They showed a picture of the new "W" Catsup...ketchup..Smashed tomatoes in a bottle... On Countdown with Kieth Olberman...He barely could keep a straight face...
I can not believe they are serious about this...
:/

Atenhotep
07-11-2004, 06:50 PM
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

And here I thought my Ketchup Conspiracy was ... just a joke .....

Fox News Special Report with Brit Hume: “Conservatives who prefer Freedom Fries to French Fries ... now have a new choice at the dinner table.” July 9, 2004

ABC’s Good Morning America: In an on-air taste test between W Ketchup and Heinz, W Ketchup was judged as tasting “more conservative, with a sweeter, more compassionate taste.” July 7, 2004

CNN’s American Morning: “Some GOP supporters ... have created an alternative to Heinz ketchup.” June 22, 2004

Kuwait Times: “Americans allergic to the subtle Democratic flavour of Heinz ketchup can now plunge their ‘freedom fries’ into a 100per cent guaranteed, patriotic alternative.”

lily
07-11-2004, 08:10 PM
That is just too funny to be true :rofl :rofl :rofl

Also FC said penetration :rollin :rollin

Francois Cellier
07-12-2004, 12:05 AM
What is wrong with penetration? I know that this word can have a sexual connotation, but I thought that "penetrating a market" is perfectly good English. Am I wrong?

lily
07-12-2004, 12:16 AM
No. I was just being juvenile................I'll now go stand in the corner.

Francois Cellier
07-12-2004, 12:38 AM
I'll now go stand in the corner.

With a dunce cap? You must be older than me! I guess they stopped that habbit, when I was in second grade, or so. I hadn't thought about that facet of school life for many a moon.

lily
07-12-2004, 01:25 AM
Whcih one? The laughing at words with double meanings or standing in the corner? Actually, the nuns would lock me in the coat closet. I spent a lot of time there..........that probably has a lot to do with the way I spell :cheers

sinterest
07-12-2004, 08:23 PM
I had to draw a circle on the black board and keep my nose in it.

It brought out the real hate in me.

Neko
07-16-2004, 09:48 PM
I never got caught. :D

But back to the really important business of the day, this is cool, in a creepy Soylent Green kind of way, but can you really see anyone buying it?

Customer: "I'd like some novelty condoms, some extra-strength deoderant, a packet of incontinence nappies and some, erm... W Ketchup please."

Atenhotep
07-17-2004, 12:14 AM
:rofl :rofl @ neko