Fredfredson
03-20-2004, 04:33 AM
LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching
on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from
him said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for
you. It will give you acne, rot your
teeth, and make you fat."
Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be
107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6
candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f*cking
business!!"
LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds
sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little BILLY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I
like your thinking."
Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women
sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of
ice cream. The second
is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The
third is biting off the
top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I
suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer
is 'the one with the
wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH
Little BILLY returns home from school and says he
got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father."
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6,"
replied BILLY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f*cking difference?" asks the father?
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH
Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says,
"Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody
have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"
BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY,
that's a mouthful."
Little BILLY says,
"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the
teacher asked for a show
hands from those who could use the word
"beautiful" in the same sentence
twice.
First she called on little Suzie, who responded
with, "My father bought my
mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful
in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then
called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it
turned out beautifully."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then,
she reluctantly called
on little BILLY.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my
father that she was
pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f*cking
beautiful."
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching
on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from
him said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for
you. It will give you acne, rot your
teeth, and make you fat."
Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be
107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6
candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f*cking
business!!"
LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds
sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little BILLY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I
like your thinking."
Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women
sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of
ice cream. The second
is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The
third is biting off the
top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I
suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer
is 'the one with the
wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH
Little BILLY returns home from school and says he
got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father."
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6,"
replied BILLY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f*cking difference?" asks the father?
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH
Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says,
"Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody
have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"
BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY,
that's a mouthful."
Little BILLY says,
"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the
teacher asked for a show
hands from those who could use the word
"beautiful" in the same sentence
twice.
First she called on little Suzie, who responded
with, "My father bought my
mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful
in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then
called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it
turned out beautifully."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then,
she reluctantly called
on little BILLY.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my
father that she was
pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f*cking
beautiful."